I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain:

"the only thing that's real."

Wow. I didn't know this song. Is it sick that I know exactly what this is about? (You probably think this song is about you, don't you?)

When I was growing up, my dad impossibly loved Johnny Cash, who I now love, myself. I'm kind of weird and old-fashioned, anyway. I loved Patsy Cline when I was, like, eight years old. So, way past and before it became fashionable, we used to drive in the car and listen to "A Boy Named Sue" and "Ring of Fire." And Merle Haggard, too. Prison ass bitches!

My dad is a good man. That photo over there of Johnny makes me think of him. He was all Elvis-y black-haired handsome as a young man. He really was. He's good looking now; just white-haired. Anyway. He hates and hated to be alone (which, incidentally, I live for). So, when I was growing up, he used to say "Hey! Do you want to go to the gas station with me?" He'd have to go there and get gas or something, I guess. Oddly, my mom was the opposite. Sometimes when I knew she was going to the mall, I would go out to the station wagon and hide. When she got to the mall and it was too late, I would jump up and say, "Hey!" Hahahaha. I am laughing now at my deviousness. I would usually get a little present as a reward. Weird.

By the way? Mr. Show is SO fucking funny. Honey? When you finally watch it? You will be all, gosh, she is so right. I really should listen to her more often!

And nah, that's not me. That's NIN via Johnny Cash.